Reed’s view
Former Google CEO Eric Schmidt joins the growing ranks of commencement speakers bombing on stage as frustration with AI builds for the Class of 2026 (read Semafor’s deep dive into why). So I thought I’d offer up a speaker’s guide to not getting booed at graduation this year.
Dear commencement speakers:
First of all, congratulate yourselves. You’re important enough to be asked to speak at graduation and your job now is to impart your secret sauce to the next generation.
I’m sure you want to be different. Think outside the box. Share your wisdom. But if your sage advice involves the use of artificial intelligence, please keep it to yourself. Also avoid the following triggering terms: Software, robots, data centers, chips, gas turbines, self-driving cars, and agents.
Current graduates have been through a lot: a global pandemic, climate change, wars in Ukraine and Iran. And now, they’re facing major advances in software automation that are zapping entry-level jobs just as they’re trying to snag them.
If you must address AI — and you probably shouldn’t — get in touch with your inner Sarah Connor, the college student-turned-AI safety advocate who fought off a killer robot sent from the future (and the protagonist in The Terminator sci-fi series). Commencement speakers love advising graduates to “wear sunscreen.” So did Connor, who said in Terminator 2: Judgement Day: “Anybody not wearing 2-million sunblock is gonna have a real bad day. Get it?”
Your best bet, though, is to avoid the AI topic altogether. In fact, don’t even talk about technology or software. Most graduates were forced to learn computer code from a young age and prepared for a lifetime of free snacks and stock options. That future seems less likely today.
Which reminds me, don’t mention snacks. Our future leaders don’t want to be reminded that they are going to be buying their own snacks (which have quadrupled in price in the last six months). Ditto for phrases like “a token” of appreciation and a “bit” of advice. Whatever you do, stay away from the word “prompt.”
So what can you talk about? My AI agents recommend topics like love, friendship, and the importance of a good nap. Sunsets are good — though be careful, because someone in the back will mutter something about solar panels. Dogs are safe. Nobody has ever been booed for mentioning dogs. But be specific. A real dog. With fur. That does not run on batteries.
Food is also good, just don’t say “recipe” because someone will bring up how they got theirs from ChatGPT and then we’re right back in it.
See? There are plenty of topics that don’t invoke feelings of existential dread. That is, unless you go the Sarah Connor route. In that case, existential dread is your main point.
College students have been feeling a sense of existential dread since … forever. And maybe they can learn something from Connor, who saw the world clearly and took it head on, with the stubborn, slightly unhinged belief that the future is not written.
Notable
- “One reason Americans seem to despise A.I. more than people in other countries is that they know our government is too sclerotic to handle it,” New York Times opinion columnist Michelle Goldberg wrote this week. “We simply lack the political infrastructure in America to distribute A.I.’s benefits to the public.”